The Blessing of Family

Pete's parents, Betsy and John, came into town this week. They arrived on Monday afternoon and, had my parents not taken advantage of my "bonus" good week and slipped out of town a few days prior (at Pete's and my urging!), I think that we would have held an official "Passing of the Baton" ceremony!

Ever since my diagnosis in early February, when we called our parents in tears to share the news, either my parents or my in-laws have been in-town and "on call" to help us almost every single moment. All four of them have coordinated their busy schedules seamlessly, flown countless miles, temporarily relocated their lives to a new state, and put numerous personal appointments on hold so that we would have continual coverage and help. I know that I have said this a million times, but I need to say it at least a million more: We are soooo blessed to have such wonderful family through this whole journey!!

I have wondered countless times how people survive cancer if they don't have family around to help. I know that there are women out there -- some of whom have my exact same diagnosis and are undergoing my exact same treatment -- who are not as fortunate as me. For whatever reason, they don't have family nearby to care for their children or to help with the multitude of chores that just accompany everyday life (like laundry, cooking or grocery shopping.) I am sure that in situations like this, friends willingly jump in to fill some of these roles -- and we have been blessed in this regard as well -- but, it's hard to lean on friends the same way that you lean on family.

Most of our close friends have families of their own to care for and so would be less able to come over every morning at 7am to help with the morning chaos, or to sit with me at an appointment that lasts 2 hours rather than the expected 30 minutes, or to help Luke with his homework every afternoon so that I can rest, or to take Kyle to their house to spend the night on a moment's notice. These are all things -- and much, much more! -- that my parents and my in-laws have done day after day.

When I took Kyle in for his two year check up, our pediatrician admitted that she would not have been surprised for Luke and Kyle to have regressed a bit during this time, given all that we have been through. But, in fact, the opposite has happened: our kids have flourished!! Kyle was barely speaking in February and now he is putting complex sentences together! And the kid is seriously destined for a major sports career -- he can drop kick a ball clear across the room and throws a wickedly accurate fast ball! Luke has obviously been much more aware of what is going on, but seems almost completely unaffected by it all. He eased into 1st grade without a hitch and is now mastering reading and fairly advanced math like a champ. He is the proud grower of 5 tomato plants and he continues to be a wonder-kid with regards to athletics, switching effortlessly between soccer, tennis, golf, and advanced bouncing-off-the-wall. Most importantly, though, is that both of our children seem to spend the better part of each day happy and laughing, for which we can only thank my parents, my in-laws and our wonderful nanny, Anne (who I now feel is like a sister to me!)

In my early entry "My Mountain," I wrote about "two breathtakingly beautiful angels [who] will swing down to me in their harnesses and ropes to help me smile and to give me strength and hope as I climb." And this is exactly what has happened. Because of the wonderful care and love that my children have received, I have been able to focus so much energy on healing my body. And Pete, who is my climbing partner extrordinaire, has been able to stay focused on "securing my ropes." And together as a family (me, Pete, the boys, our parents and Anne), we have slowly, day-by-day worked together to overcome this incredible obstacle that confronted us and we have all grown closer as a result.

My mom has told me numerous times that I don't need to thank them -- this is what families do, she says. There is nothing more important in their life than helping me to heal, she tells me. And I know in my heart that this is true. But in thinking back on the past 8 months, I also know that there is no way that I could ever climb this mountain alone -- it is just too damn hard! And I feel so much sorrow in my heart for people who have no choice. This mountain has consumed many a climber, I know, and I have to believe that many of the climbers who never make it to the top are the ones climbing alone. Having a wonderful family is truly a blessing and I wish that there was some way that I could show everyone how much their love and support means to me, but I think that the best "thank you" that I can give is just to heal. I think that would be the greatest gift of all and so I hope and pray that this is a gift that I can give.