Week One -- Check!

It's been exactly a week since my chemo last Monday and what a week it has been. This new chemo regime (FOLFOX) hit me so incredibly hard!!! I did fairly well on the first day of treatment (although, like I mentioned before, I could start to feel the symptoms starting before I even left the doctor's office), but then Tuesday and Wednesday I was completely wiped out. I basically slept all day and fought off constant nausea. Plus, I just felt "off." I don't know how else to describe it other than that. My body just felt really, really crappy -- which I guess makes sense given that I had just poured poison into it. Ugh!! By Thursday I was starting to feel better... or so I thought! ... Friday I was back in bed again the entire day feeling completely awful. In fact, Friday was probably my hardest day! The nausea is the worst symptom that I had and, unfortunately, the nausea medicine that they gave me (1) didn't work very well and (2) made me really sleepy. So I basically slept all day Friday to avoid throwing up. All in all, I lost another 5 pounds last week, which is not at all what I need to be doing at this point -- I need to be putting weight back on (well...at least some of it...I don't really want all of it back)!

Needless to say, it was very demoralizing to spend basically the entire week in bed; by Friday, I was downright depressed. I was beginning to fear that the symptoms were going to be with me for the next four months and I honestly couldn't imagine how in the world I was going to survive that long feeling so awful. Luckily, I slowly began feeling better during the weekend and am back to feeling relatively normal today. In fact, I felt well enough today to actually go for my first true workout since surgery. Granted, it's still nothing close to what I was able to do 5 months ago, but it's a start. And as I was power-walking on the treadmill, I happened to turn on the Tour de France. Talk about inspirational -- wow! All I could think as I watched was that I don't want to just get my body back to "feeling normal" again; I want to take this opportunity to work towards a much bigger goal. I told Pete that, once I am fully recovered, I want to go to France and bike from castle to castle for a month. Or resurrect our climb up Machu Picchu (we were supposed to be going in October for our 10th anniversary). Or go on a hiking expedition someplace else equally amazing. Or all of the above!! I want to live life to the fullest! And for anyone who knows Pete "All I Really Want To Do In Life Is Travel" Wheelan, this was music to his ears -- Ha! So I think that in the next few days, we are going to do a bit of dreaming and come up with a list of "Must See/Do In Our Lifetime" places that will inspire me to get up out of bed and sweat these crazy toxins out of my body.

Anyway, if you don't hear from me again this week it's just because I am committed to spending every moment that I feel well focusing on (1) eating as much food as I can possible tolerate, (2) drinking ridiculous quantities of water (a gallon a day!) to flush the chemo drugs OUT!, (3) exercising to build up my strength, (4) meditating so that I am in an optimal frame of mind for what lies ahead. Or, who knows -- maybe I'll be inspired to write something else based on a great "life epiphany" I have while meditating. :) For now, though, assume that no news is good news.

p.s. A health club near us called The Bay Club is where I went to work out today. They believe so strongly in the role of exercise in preventing cancer and in treating chemo-induced symptoms that they actually set up a program with the cancer center where I am being treated. For example, there have been studies done that prove exercise during chemo treatment can raise the red blood cell count, which is important since chemo is notorious for suppressing red blood cell production (which leads to fatigue and anemia.) Anything that can be done to counter this effect inevitably helps the patient to feel better. As part of this special program, I get free membership for 6 months, discounted membership for the following 6 months, and 12 free personal training sessions. And if I choose to join at the end of the year, I never need to pay the initiation fee (which is like $1000 -- yikes! Gives you some perspective on how nice the club is, eh?) Anyway, I mention this just because I know that there are many people reading this blog who live in Marin and so I wanted to put a good plug in for The Bay Club -- I think that what they are doing is really wonderful!