There were two very different comments that friends posted in response to my last blog entry, and I want to respond to each separately since they are so different....
One of the comments was from my friend Cathy Youngling (aka, Tamwitch). She wrote:
Asking for some prayers. Glenn's Mom has just been diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. They say it's inoperable, but they may still be doing some chemo. Ideas to help support her are welcome. Email cyoungling@pacunion.com.
When I read Cathy's posting, my heart sank. Before being diagnosed with cancer myself, I naively thought that all cancers were the same, kind of like all cases of chicken pox are the same. But one of the things that I have learned through this whole process is that each type of cancer is very different depending on where it originates and that each cancer involves unique treatment protocols and very different prognoses. Despite these difference, though, a few commonalities remain: chemo is still chemo and there is no getting around the fact that it sucks. And, regardless of the type of cancer, every cancer patient will, at some point, find themselves standing on the edge of the precipice staring mortality in the face, trying to make sense of death, and assessing their own life. And lastly, I have come to learn that cancer is a family disease. Yes, the cancer patient endures the brunt of the physical treatment, but the emotional aspects of cancer reach every member of a family in some way or another. And so, while I might not be able to relate to the actual treatment protocal that Cathy's mother-in-law will be prescribed, I know all to well the physical and emotional pain that her entire family is about to endure and it brings me to tears.
One statistic that I read early on is that 1 out of every 3 women and 1 out of every 2 men will be diagnosed with cancer in their lifetime (you can see the break-down by type of cancer by clicking here.) The best I can figure, there must be more than 500 people who have visited my blog since I started writing in early March and so I always suspected that someone I knew (either directly or indirectly) would end up being diagnosed with cancer during the course of my treatment. As it has turned out, there are four people whom I have learned of -- including Cathy's mother-in-law and my own mother's best friend, Joanie -- who have received the horrible diagnosis of cancer and, unfortunately, I am sure that these won't be the last. For whatever reason -- or probably for a multitude of reasons -- cancer is a reality in our society.
I called Cathy today to offer my condolences. I also shared with her a few things that have provided me the most comfort in these past 8+ months in the hopes that these might be of comfort to her mother-in-law as well. I decided to share my thoughts here as well, though, in the event that anyone else reading my blog finds themselves struggling to know how to comfort a loved one who faces a similar diagnosis:
1) Every time I go in for a chemo appointment, I bring my own blanket from home. Chemo appointments can last up to 8+ hours (mine are generally 3-4 hours) and so having a cozy, clean blanket to snuggle under can make the experience more manageable. As I mentioned before, there is a wonderful company called Kimbelina (www.kimbelina.com) which sells beautiful, soft blankets with angels embroidered on every corner. The owners of the company sent me and my family each a beautiful gift when they learned of my diagnosis and sometimes I take the blanket that they sent and sometimes I take a Land's End blanket that my good friend Rick sent me which has "BitchKilla" embroidered on the corner. Either way, I can't help but smile as I cozy up in the chemo chair every other week.
2) The single best book that I found about life, death and dying is "Kitchen Table Wisdom" by Rachel Naomi Remen. The other book which I found extremely helpful was "Fighting Cancer From Within," by Martin Rossman. If you have been reading my blog from the beginning, you have undoubtedly heard me quote from both of these books numerous times and have, perhaps, also been touched by the wisdom of these two authors.
3) The dinners that friends have provided each week have been invaluable. When you are going through treatment and feel completely crummy, there is nothing better than having someone else in charge of making sure that a healthy dinner is on the table, especially when there are other family members who need to be fed. When in doubt as to what the patient can/cannot eat, stick with vegetarian dishes -- you can't go wrong getting more healthy veggies into a chemo-filled body!
4) Just send a card or a quick email letting your friend know that you are thinking of them. I am sure that many people don't know what to say or are afraid that they will say the wrong thing in situations like this, but I can tell you there are a number of friends who write to me regularly and simply say "I'm thinking of you. I'm glad to hear that you're feeling better this week. Know that you are in my thoughts and prayers." And I can tell you that these small gestures mean the world to me!
There are many other, very meaningful gifts which friends and family have sent me -- stuffed animals, small dolls, boxing gloves, other books, inspirational pictures and magnets, etc -- but they are all very personal to me. By comparison, I think that the things I mentioned above are fairly universal; I cannot imagine any cancer patient who wouldn't appreciate receiving one of these tokens of comfort and support.
Thursday, September 27, 2007
Tuesday, September 25, 2007
Different Generations ~ Different Perspectives
I have to give my parents and my in-laws a huge amount of credit: they have been incredibly patient and accommodating these past 8 months in listening to all of my diatribes about the various factors in our environment that cause cancer. Every day, they hear me rattled on about everything from pesticides in food, toxins in cosmetics, chemicals in plastic and -- my newest crusade -- toxic chemicals used in the production of fabrics and apparel. And, unfortunately (or fortunately, however you look at it) their proximity to me forces them to bear witness to my droning on and on about these issue until the issue finally gels in my head and I can write about it in a meaningful and accurate way in my blog.
I know that my parents and in-laws don't necessarily agree with everything that I have written. Or more accurately, I should say that they might agree, but just don't feel as strongly as I do about making changes. My mother-in-law and I have had a number of conversations about this in the past few days. She read my blog about plastics and then, ironically, saw an article in the Wall Street Journal later that day that reiterated much of what I wrote, but I don't know if she will change her habits or not. And, believe me, I totally get that!! Betsy and John are mid- to late-60's. They have been living their lives the same way for many, many years and, clearly, whatever they have been doing is working great for them. In fact, I will be thrilled to live a life that is as full and meaningful as theirs has been! And so I can completely understand why someone at their age is not as motivated to change.
I think that my situation is different, however, and Betsy readily agrees with me. There are two major factors that are motivating me to make changes for myself and my own family (aside from having had cancer!):
1) I have read soooo much that speaks to the fact that many of the toxins that exist in our environment today have come about during my lifetime.
Fact #1: According to many sources, our food supply has changed more in the past 40 years than it did in the 4000 years prior. The invention and introduction of genetically modified foods, preservatives, additives, and pesticides have all come about largely since the 1960's.
Fact #2: Prior to the 1950's, pesticides and insecticides were unheard of in cotton farming. Now, although cotton covers only 2.5 percent of the planet's arable land, 16 percent of global pesticides sales and 24 percent of global insecticide sales go into cotton production.
Fact #3: Today, cotton farmers worldwide spend a total of US$2 billion on agricultural pesticides every year. Of these chemical applications, at least US$819 million are toxic enough to be classified as 'hazardous' by the World Health Organization. Furthermore, these hazardous pesticides used during cotton production have been detected in apparel products, despite the many chemicals (such as bleach) that apparel manufacturers apply later in the production to "wash" out the pesticides.
Fact #5: Phthalates are the most commonly used plasticisers in the world and have been in use for about 50 years, primarily in combination with polyvinyl chloride (PVC) to make products soft and flexible.
And I could go on and on....
The issues that my generation faces today are radically different than those of our parents' or our grandparents' generations. When they were all our age, they didn't have to wonder whether the beef that they were feeding their family had been fed cattle by-products (industrial cattle farms didn't exist then -- cattle were all grass-fed), or whether the plastic bottles that they used to feed their babies contained toxic chemicals (they used glass bottles), or whether the cotton sweater that they bought at Macy's contained traces of pesticides (pesticides weren't used yet).
I am not trying to downplay the issues that their generation DID face -- some of them were quite serious and created long-lasting effects. For example, DDT (a pesticide used for commercial and residential pest control) was hugely controversial in the 60's and was eventually banned in 1972 once it was confirmed to present "unacceptable harm to human health." And, drugs like DES were commonly prescribed to prevent miscarriage and pre-mature birth until a study published in 1971 identified DES as a cause of a rare vaginal cancer and breast cancer in girls and young women who had been exposed to DES before birth (in the womb). But I don't think that anyone can argue that the changes to consumer products that have come about in the past 40-50 years are staggering. And I am almost 40 -- this is my entire lifetime! The only world that my generation has ever known is very different from the world that our parents and grandparents grew up in.
2) The second, possibly more important reason, that I feel incredibly motivated to understand the issues and to make the appropriate changes is because I have young children.
I think about the fact that someone who is my father-in-law's age (he'll be 70 this December) was in their 20's or 30's by the time many of the issues I noted above came into effect. By the time you are that age, your body is pretty much done growing. By comparison, pound for pound, children breathe more air, drink more water and consume more food than adults. The higher rate of intake means that children receive relatively higher doses of whatever contaminants are present in the air, water or food. In addition, infants have a relatively greater surface area of skin than adults, thereby increasing their potential absorption of certain compounds. Not to mention the fact that children put everything in their mouth and spend a disproportionate amount of time playing on the ground, where contaminants naturally settle or are tracked in from the outdoors.
Equally important, childhood is characterized by rapid physical and mental growth. At the beginning of life, an infant's entire biological system is relatively immature to that of an adult. Children absorb, metabolize and excrete compounds -- toxic or otherwise -- very differently than adults. Accordingly, organs which are still developing are extremely vulnerable to injury. So toxins in consumer products such as plastic bath toys, cotton pajamas or non-organic produce may have little or no effect on someone who is 70- or 50- or even 30-years-old, but might have an enormous effect on a little body that is still growing like crazy.
So, as far as I am concerned, there is no right or wrong way to incorporate all of the information that I have shared into one's life. I just keep doing what feels appropriate to me as a mom and as a cancer survivor, while recognizing that my path will not be right for everyone. I will never judge anyone for the changes that they do or don't make based on what I write -- it's not my place to judge something that is clearly so personal. I'll just keep writing (and being "Earth Girl" which is my friend, Elizabeth's, new nickname for me) and you can all just take the bits and pieces that work for your own life and ignore the rest.
I know that my parents and in-laws don't necessarily agree with everything that I have written. Or more accurately, I should say that they might agree, but just don't feel as strongly as I do about making changes. My mother-in-law and I have had a number of conversations about this in the past few days. She read my blog about plastics and then, ironically, saw an article in the Wall Street Journal later that day that reiterated much of what I wrote, but I don't know if she will change her habits or not. And, believe me, I totally get that!! Betsy and John are mid- to late-60's. They have been living their lives the same way for many, many years and, clearly, whatever they have been doing is working great for them. In fact, I will be thrilled to live a life that is as full and meaningful as theirs has been! And so I can completely understand why someone at their age is not as motivated to change.
I think that my situation is different, however, and Betsy readily agrees with me. There are two major factors that are motivating me to make changes for myself and my own family (aside from having had cancer!):
1) I have read soooo much that speaks to the fact that many of the toxins that exist in our environment today have come about during my lifetime.
Fact #1: According to many sources, our food supply has changed more in the past 40 years than it did in the 4000 years prior. The invention and introduction of genetically modified foods, preservatives, additives, and pesticides have all come about largely since the 1960's.
Fact #2: Prior to the 1950's, pesticides and insecticides were unheard of in cotton farming. Now, although cotton covers only 2.5 percent of the planet's arable land, 16 percent of global pesticides sales and 24 percent of global insecticide sales go into cotton production.
Fact #3: Today, cotton farmers worldwide spend a total of US$2 billion on agricultural pesticides every year. Of these chemical applications, at least US$819 million are toxic enough to be classified as 'hazardous' by the World Health Organization. Furthermore, these hazardous pesticides used during cotton production have been detected in apparel products, despite the many chemicals (such as bleach) that apparel manufacturers apply later in the production to "wash" out the pesticides.
Fact #5: Phthalates are the most commonly used plasticisers in the world and have been in use for about 50 years, primarily in combination with polyvinyl chloride (PVC) to make products soft and flexible.
And I could go on and on....
The issues that my generation faces today are radically different than those of our parents' or our grandparents' generations. When they were all our age, they didn't have to wonder whether the beef that they were feeding their family had been fed cattle by-products (industrial cattle farms didn't exist then -- cattle were all grass-fed), or whether the plastic bottles that they used to feed their babies contained toxic chemicals (they used glass bottles), or whether the cotton sweater that they bought at Macy's contained traces of pesticides (pesticides weren't used yet).
I am not trying to downplay the issues that their generation DID face -- some of them were quite serious and created long-lasting effects. For example, DDT (a pesticide used for commercial and residential pest control) was hugely controversial in the 60's and was eventually banned in 1972 once it was confirmed to present "unacceptable harm to human health." And, drugs like DES were commonly prescribed to prevent miscarriage and pre-mature birth until a study published in 1971 identified DES as a cause of a rare vaginal cancer and breast cancer in girls and young women who had been exposed to DES before birth (in the womb). But I don't think that anyone can argue that the changes to consumer products that have come about in the past 40-50 years are staggering. And I am almost 40 -- this is my entire lifetime! The only world that my generation has ever known is very different from the world that our parents and grandparents grew up in.
2) The second, possibly more important reason, that I feel incredibly motivated to understand the issues and to make the appropriate changes is because I have young children.
I think about the fact that someone who is my father-in-law's age (he'll be 70 this December) was in their 20's or 30's by the time many of the issues I noted above came into effect. By the time you are that age, your body is pretty much done growing. By comparison, pound for pound, children breathe more air, drink more water and consume more food than adults. The higher rate of intake means that children receive relatively higher doses of whatever contaminants are present in the air, water or food. In addition, infants have a relatively greater surface area of skin than adults, thereby increasing their potential absorption of certain compounds. Not to mention the fact that children put everything in their mouth and spend a disproportionate amount of time playing on the ground, where contaminants naturally settle or are tracked in from the outdoors.
Equally important, childhood is characterized by rapid physical and mental growth. At the beginning of life, an infant's entire biological system is relatively immature to that of an adult. Children absorb, metabolize and excrete compounds -- toxic or otherwise -- very differently than adults. Accordingly, organs which are still developing are extremely vulnerable to injury. So toxins in consumer products such as plastic bath toys, cotton pajamas or non-organic produce may have little or no effect on someone who is 70- or 50- or even 30-years-old, but might have an enormous effect on a little body that is still growing like crazy.
So, as far as I am concerned, there is no right or wrong way to incorporate all of the information that I have shared into one's life. I just keep doing what feels appropriate to me as a mom and as a cancer survivor, while recognizing that my path will not be right for everyone. I will never judge anyone for the changes that they do or don't make based on what I write -- it's not my place to judge something that is clearly so personal. I'll just keep writing (and being "Earth Girl" which is my friend, Elizabeth's, new nickname for me) and you can all just take the bits and pieces that work for your own life and ignore the rest.
Freegan-ism
My dear friend, Elizabeth -- who ranks as one of the funniest people I have ever been blessed to know -- sent me an email yesterday that said the following:
"Julie, I love that you are into all of these causes -- but if you ever become a 'freegan' I fear I'll need to host an intervention for you."
"What, dare I ask, is a 'freegan'?" I wrote back.
And, in response, she sent me the following link: http://freegan.info
Here is a portion of what you'll find on the website:
The word freegan is compounded from "free" and "vegan". Vegans are people who avoid products from animal sources or products tested on animals in an effort to avoid harming animals. Freegans take this a step further by recognizing that in a complex, industrial, mass-production economy driven by profit, abuses of humans, animals, and the earth abound at all levels of production (from acquisition to raw materials to production to transportation) and in just about every product we buy.
Sweatshop labor, rainforest destruction, global warming, displacement of indigenous communities, air and water pollution, eradication of wildlife on farmland as "pests", the violent overthrow of popularly elected governments to maintain puppet dictators compliant to big business interests, open-pit strip mining, oil drilling in environmentally sensitive areas, union busting, child slavery, and payoffs to repressive regimes are just some of the many impacts of the seemingly innocuous consumer products we consume every day.
Perhaps the most notorious freegan strategy is what is commonly called "urban foraging" or "dumpster diving". This technique involves rummaging through the garbage of retailers, residences, offices, and other facilities for useful goods. Despite our society's sterotypes about garbage, the goods recovered by freegans are safe, useable, clean, and in perfect or near-perfect condition, a symptom of a throwaway culture that encourages us to constantly replace our older goods with newer ones, and where retailers plan high-volume product disposal as part of their economic model.
Okay, while I fully admit that my blog entries of late do have an air of "anti-capitalisist freegan-ism" to them, and while I am all for recycling products which still have lots of life left in them, please trust me when I say that if any of you reading my blog ever witness me partaking in "dumpster diving," I completely endorse a massive, immediate intervention!! I'd like to think that I am creative and smart enough to actually figure out a way to deploy capitalism to help solve some of the mass-production economic ills we face, rather than resorting to "urban foraging." But who knows what these chemo drugs are actually doing to my brain, so I'll take all the back-up help I can get! :)
"Julie, I love that you are into all of these causes -- but if you ever become a 'freegan' I fear I'll need to host an intervention for you."
"What, dare I ask, is a 'freegan'?" I wrote back.
And, in response, she sent me the following link: http://freegan.info
Here is a portion of what you'll find on the website:
The word freegan is compounded from "free" and "vegan". Vegans are people who avoid products from animal sources or products tested on animals in an effort to avoid harming animals. Freegans take this a step further by recognizing that in a complex, industrial, mass-production economy driven by profit, abuses of humans, animals, and the earth abound at all levels of production (from acquisition to raw materials to production to transportation) and in just about every product we buy.
Sweatshop labor, rainforest destruction, global warming, displacement of indigenous communities, air and water pollution, eradication of wildlife on farmland as "pests", the violent overthrow of popularly elected governments to maintain puppet dictators compliant to big business interests, open-pit strip mining, oil drilling in environmentally sensitive areas, union busting, child slavery, and payoffs to repressive regimes are just some of the many impacts of the seemingly innocuous consumer products we consume every day.
Perhaps the most notorious freegan strategy is what is commonly called "urban foraging" or "dumpster diving". This technique involves rummaging through the garbage of retailers, residences, offices, and other facilities for useful goods. Despite our society's sterotypes about garbage, the goods recovered by freegans are safe, useable, clean, and in perfect or near-perfect condition, a symptom of a throwaway culture that encourages us to constantly replace our older goods with newer ones, and where retailers plan high-volume product disposal as part of their economic model.
Okay, while I fully admit that my blog entries of late do have an air of "anti-capitalisist freegan-ism" to them, and while I am all for recycling products which still have lots of life left in them, please trust me when I say that if any of you reading my blog ever witness me partaking in "dumpster diving," I completely endorse a massive, immediate intervention!! I'd like to think that I am creative and smart enough to actually figure out a way to deploy capitalism to help solve some of the mass-production economic ills we face, rather than resorting to "urban foraging." But who knows what these chemo drugs are actually doing to my brain, so I'll take all the back-up help I can get! :)
Monday, September 24, 2007
Six Down, A Couple to Go
I had my sixth chemo treatment today. Surprisingly, all of my blood counts were really good (well, "really good" for someone going into their sixth chemo cycle, anyway.) Interestingly, my red blood count was the highest that it has been since April! Something like 3.55 for all you medical mumbo-jumbo interpreters out there. Crazy, huh? I told the nurse that I was convinced that my red count would be really low given how tired I felt last week, but she said that anemia is only one of the many ways that chemo can deplete a person. Apparently, it's more complicated than that. Hmmmm...interesting. Anyway, my white blood count was fine and my platelets were back up to 119, so all was good.
When I told my friend, Kristen, last week that I only had three more cycles to do, she exclaimed, "That fantastic! Three qualifies as 'a few' and so you can legitimately say that you only have a few cycles left." She was right! And the beautiful thing is, now that my sixth cycle is done, I only have two left. And, since two qualifies as "a couple," I can honestly and enthusiastically say "only a couple more to go!" Ahhhh, music to my ears!
When I told my friend, Kristen, last week that I only had three more cycles to do, she exclaimed, "That fantastic! Three qualifies as 'a few' and so you can legitimately say that you only have a few cycles left." She was right! And the beautiful thing is, now that my sixth cycle is done, I only have two left. And, since two qualifies as "a couple," I can honestly and enthusiastically say "only a couple more to go!" Ahhhh, music to my ears!
My "Magic Potion"
I had lunch last week with my good friend, Randy. He is actually an old boss of mine from about 7 years ago (although he will probably argue that, in actuality, I was more his boss! Ha!) but we have stayed good friends since then and get together periodically to catch up on life. One of the things that I adore most about Randy is that he is extremely creative and one of the smartest people I know. Every time we get together, I find myself thinking about life in a different way -- which I thoroughly enjoy. Our lunch last week was no exception!
This whole time, I have been referring to my chemo drugs as "poison." It's hard not to, given how crappy I feel for days afterwards. But Randy suggested that I instead think of them as "potion." I love that! There is no getting around the fact that the word "poison" has only negative connotations. In fact, the dictionary lists the following description:
poi·son [poi-zuhn]
1. a substance with an inherent property that tends to destroy life or impair health.
2. something harmful or pernicious, as to happiness or well-being.
By comparison, "potion" is defined as:
po·tion [poh-shuhn]
1. a drink or draft, especially one having or reputed to have medicinal or magical powers. examples: a love potion or sleeping potion.
So much nicer, don't you think? And much more accurate, I believe. I trust my doctors...really, I do!! And as much as I kid around with them, I know that they are not actually trying to kill me (it just feels that way.) In fact, quite the opposite is true: the chemo drugs that they are giving me will ultimately save my life. But I feel like "saving my life" is just the beginning. This whole cancer experience has given me such a new outlook on life. I remember back in April when I was panicking about my surgery, I decided to go and see a therapist who specializes in treating cancer patients. During one of our sessions, she mentioned that, in Latin, the word cancer means "chaos." She uses this interpretation to help motivate her clients to think about their lives differently and to help them work toward making necessary changes at the same time that they are going through treatment. That way, when the treatment is over, their lives will ideally be better aligned with their values, etc than before. When she first asked me to think about my own life in this context, however, I really struggled. The thing is, before my diagnosis, I was really, really happy. I had a beautiful family, wonderful friends, an interesting and well-paying job, and great life/work balance. There was not much that I could think of changing. But, in these past 8 months, I have come to find that my eyes have been opened to a new way of looking at life. Cancer treatment has afforded me loads of time to think about what I really want to accomplish in life and what values I want to emulate for my children. And "standing on the precipice," facing mortality head-on, and then being afforded the chance to step back from the edge is a tremendous life motivator. The chemo treatments wipe me out physically, but somehow leave my mind fairly intact (although Pete might disagree with me on this point! Ha!) and so I find myself brainstorming all the ways that I can better combine my passions, my skills and my values so that, once I am done with everything, I can move seamlessly into a new, more fulfilling way of life. Just thinking about this "new" life makes my soul smile!
And so I believe that Randy is right: Poison could never bring about such wonderful transformation. The chemo drugs must be magic potion!
This whole time, I have been referring to my chemo drugs as "poison." It's hard not to, given how crappy I feel for days afterwards. But Randy suggested that I instead think of them as "potion." I love that! There is no getting around the fact that the word "poison" has only negative connotations. In fact, the dictionary lists the following description:
poi·son [poi-zuhn]
zən1. a substance with an inherent property that tends to destroy life or impair health.
2. something harmful or pernicious, as to happiness or well-being.
By comparison, "potion" is defined as:
po·tion [poh-shuhn]
1. a drink or draft, especially one having or reputed to have medicinal or magical powers. examples: a love potion or sleeping potion.
So much nicer, don't you think? And much more accurate, I believe. I trust my doctors...really, I do!! And as much as I kid around with them, I know that they are not actually trying to kill me (it just feels that way.) In fact, quite the opposite is true: the chemo drugs that they are giving me will ultimately save my life. But I feel like "saving my life" is just the beginning. This whole cancer experience has given me such a new outlook on life. I remember back in April when I was panicking about my surgery, I decided to go and see a therapist who specializes in treating cancer patients. During one of our sessions, she mentioned that, in Latin, the word cancer means "chaos." She uses this interpretation to help motivate her clients to think about their lives differently and to help them work toward making necessary changes at the same time that they are going through treatment. That way, when the treatment is over, their lives will ideally be better aligned with their values, etc than before. When she first asked me to think about my own life in this context, however, I really struggled. The thing is, before my diagnosis, I was really, really happy. I had a beautiful family, wonderful friends, an interesting and well-paying job, and great life/work balance. There was not much that I could think of changing. But, in these past 8 months, I have come to find that my eyes have been opened to a new way of looking at life. Cancer treatment has afforded me loads of time to think about what I really want to accomplish in life and what values I want to emulate for my children. And "standing on the precipice," facing mortality head-on, and then being afforded the chance to step back from the edge is a tremendous life motivator. The chemo treatments wipe me out physically, but somehow leave my mind fairly intact (although Pete might disagree with me on this point! Ha!) and so I find myself brainstorming all the ways that I can better combine my passions, my skills and my values so that, once I am done with everything, I can move seamlessly into a new, more fulfilling way of life. Just thinking about this "new" life makes my soul smile!
And so I believe that Randy is right: Poison could never bring about such wonderful transformation. The chemo drugs must be magic potion!
Tuesday, September 18, 2007
Elle Magazine Article
There is a very interesting article about the link between environmental factors and cancer in the latest issue of Elle magazine (the one with my favorite actress, the adorable Reese Witherspoon, on the cover). Here are some daunting statistics that the article points out:
> Scientists calculated that, among the 216 possible known carcinogens for breast cancer, 73 are found in consumer products or food (again, how the heck do companies get away with including these ingredients if they are "known carcinogens"? I don't get it!), 35 are in the air that we breath, and 29 are produced in this country in amounts exceeding one million pounds per year. And that's just breast cancer!
> The National Cancer Institute estimates that 90% of the roughly 200,000 annual breast cancer diagnoses are due to environmental and lifestyle factors, not genes.
The article also talks about the plastic toxins that I mentioned earlier and confirms everything that I wrote, and more. It's an interesting article -- definitely worth reading if you get a chance.
> Scientists calculated that, among the 216 possible known carcinogens for breast cancer, 73 are found in consumer products or food (again, how the heck do companies get away with including these ingredients if they are "known carcinogens"? I don't get it!), 35 are in the air that we breath, and 29 are produced in this country in amounts exceeding one million pounds per year. And that's just breast cancer!
> The National Cancer Institute estimates that 90% of the roughly 200,000 annual breast cancer diagnoses are due to environmental and lifestyle factors, not genes.
The article also talks about the plastic toxins that I mentioned earlier and confirms everything that I wrote, and more. It's an interesting article -- definitely worth reading if you get a chance.
Cast Your Votes
A couple months ago I bought myself a new sports bottle. The bottle was made by Camelback, a company which you may have heard of -- they are a fairly well-known maker of sports bottles and other sports equipment and are sold at stores like REI. I loved the design of my new bottle and figured that, by refilling the same bottle all day long I would be better able to better gauge how much water I was drinking. Our nanny, Anne, agreed and bought one for herself as well.
Well, it's too bad I hadn't finished doing my research on plastics before she and I wasted our money! I checked the bottom of the bottle yesterday and within the chasing arrows symbol was the number 7. As I mentioned earlier, 7 is not one of the "safe" numbers for plastics. I was so discouraged!! I love this bottle! I carry it everywhere! I still couldn't believe that it could be harmful and so I called the manufacturer directly to see if maybe there was some mistake. I was hoping that, even though it was labeled 7, maybe the designers had figured out a way to make my beautiful, handy bottle without the toxic chemicals I mentioned earlier. Unfortunately, this was not the case. Not only was the bottle made using Bisphenol A, but the customer service rep acknowledged that the designers were aware that this is an issue. Why the heck did they make the product in the first place then??? Or, more importantly, why are they still selling it??
This is the part of business that I truly do not understand....How do companies get to the point that they justify continuing to make products even though they know that either the manufacturing process or the product itself will be harmful to people? Why aren't there more companies willing to say "Making products that are harmful to people or the environment are just not worth it. That is not what I want my company to stand for. No amount of profit is worth that price."?
There are obviously companies out there that have taken this stance: Patagonia, Ben & Jerry's, Bert's Bees, and Aveda to name a few. And I applaud them with all my might! The world needs more companies like this. We -- as a generation facing an ridiculously overwhelming amount of toxins in our lives -- NEED companies like this. Why are there not more?
Capitalism is a complex issue -- more complex than I can cover in one blog entry while suffering the mind-dulling effect of chemo. But I think that the high level summary of why there are not more companies like this is, until consumers start demanding products that are made in an environmentally sensitive and sustainable way and that are not harmful to our bodies, companies will continue to cut corners in order to make a profit. I am completely confident that McDonald's would be the first to jump on the "grass-fed, organic beef hamburger on organic whole grain bun" bandwagon if they thought they could grow market share by doing so! Unfortunately, at this point, "industrial-raised feedlot beef on a cornstarch bun" is cheaper. And until customers start complaining or start shifting their purchases elsewhere, McDonald's has no incentive to change.
I bought a little pocket-sized book recently called The Better World Shopping Guide. It's a great little guide that ranks companies across a number of product categories based on their social and environmental responsibility. I found the introduction to the book to be a fascinating eye-opener:
Wherever large amounts of money collect, so also new centers of power form. As trillions of dollars accumulate in the corporate sphere, we witness the growing power of corporations to shape the world. These new power centers are not democracies. We don't vote for the CEO's or their policies (unless we are shareholders), yet our destinies are increasingly in their hands. As these power centers shift, we must shift our own voices if we wish to be heard. As citizens, on average, we might vote once every four years, if at all. As consumers, however, we vote every single day with the purest form of power...money. The average American family spends around $18,000 every year on goods and services. Think of this as casting 18,000 votes every year for the kind of world you want to live in.
So, before I hung up with the customer service rep at Camelback, I cast my vote! I told him to please relay to his Sr Executives that I was throwing away my Camelback sports bottle and would not be buying any more Camelback products until they make ones that are completely safe. I told him that I have cancer and that I am not taking any chances for myself or for my family. The crazy thing is, the customer service rep then confided, "I have a four-year-old daughter and I feel the same way."
Well, it's too bad I hadn't finished doing my research on plastics before she and I wasted our money! I checked the bottom of the bottle yesterday and within the chasing arrows symbol was the number 7. As I mentioned earlier, 7 is not one of the "safe" numbers for plastics. I was so discouraged!! I love this bottle! I carry it everywhere! I still couldn't believe that it could be harmful and so I called the manufacturer directly to see if maybe there was some mistake. I was hoping that, even though it was labeled 7, maybe the designers had figured out a way to make my beautiful, handy bottle without the toxic chemicals I mentioned earlier. Unfortunately, this was not the case. Not only was the bottle made using Bisphenol A, but the customer service rep acknowledged that the designers were aware that this is an issue. Why the heck did they make the product in the first place then??? Or, more importantly, why are they still selling it??
This is the part of business that I truly do not understand....How do companies get to the point that they justify continuing to make products even though they know that either the manufacturing process or the product itself will be harmful to people? Why aren't there more companies willing to say "Making products that are harmful to people or the environment are just not worth it. That is not what I want my company to stand for. No amount of profit is worth that price."?
There are obviously companies out there that have taken this stance: Patagonia, Ben & Jerry's, Bert's Bees, and Aveda to name a few. And I applaud them with all my might! The world needs more companies like this. We -- as a generation facing an ridiculously overwhelming amount of toxins in our lives -- NEED companies like this. Why are there not more?
Capitalism is a complex issue -- more complex than I can cover in one blog entry while suffering the mind-dulling effect of chemo. But I think that the high level summary of why there are not more companies like this is, until consumers start demanding products that are made in an environmentally sensitive and sustainable way and that are not harmful to our bodies, companies will continue to cut corners in order to make a profit. I am completely confident that McDonald's would be the first to jump on the "grass-fed, organic beef hamburger on organic whole grain bun" bandwagon if they thought they could grow market share by doing so! Unfortunately, at this point, "industrial-raised feedlot beef on a cornstarch bun" is cheaper. And until customers start complaining or start shifting their purchases elsewhere, McDonald's has no incentive to change.
I bought a little pocket-sized book recently called The Better World Shopping Guide. It's a great little guide that ranks companies across a number of product categories based on their social and environmental responsibility. I found the introduction to the book to be a fascinating eye-opener:
Wherever large amounts of money collect, so also new centers of power form. As trillions of dollars accumulate in the corporate sphere, we witness the growing power of corporations to shape the world. These new power centers are not democracies. We don't vote for the CEO's or their policies (unless we are shareholders), yet our destinies are increasingly in their hands. As these power centers shift, we must shift our own voices if we wish to be heard. As citizens, on average, we might vote once every four years, if at all. As consumers, however, we vote every single day with the purest form of power...money. The average American family spends around $18,000 every year on goods and services. Think of this as casting 18,000 votes every year for the kind of world you want to live in.
So, before I hung up with the customer service rep at Camelback, I cast my vote! I told him to please relay to his Sr Executives that I was throwing away my Camelback sports bottle and would not be buying any more Camelback products until they make ones that are completely safe. I told him that I have cancer and that I am not taking any chances for myself or for my family. The crazy thing is, the customer service rep then confided, "I have a four-year-old daughter and I feel the same way."
Monday, September 17, 2007
The Hazards of Certain Plastics
I don't know if it's specific to the San Francisco area or not (we tend to be on the forefront of environmental issues around here), but it seems that every time I turn around lately I keep hearing about the hazards of certain plastics. I am confident that rumors about plastics' detrimental impact on our health have circulated for years, but apparently, some recent studies have helped to tease apart the truth from the hype, which I am sure is contributing to the recent buzz.
There are basically two key health issues related to plastic that are important for every parent to understand:
The first issue is PVC. PVC is a chemical used to make many types of plastic products from shower curtains to hoses to IV bags. PVC is generally quite rigid (for example, it's commonly used in the construction industry to replace wood and metal) but can be made softer and more flexible by the addition of plasticizers, the most widely used being "phthalates" (pronounced thay-lates). While flexibility is obviously an attractive and necessary attribute for many products, the downside is that PVC contains the known carcinogen vinyl chloride and phthalates have been linked to reproductive birth defects, early onset of puberty, asthma, and reduced testosterone in boys. And when you begin think back and realize just how many products your children may have come into contact with which must contain these chemicals (think squishy bath toys, pacifiers, baby bottle nipples, teething rings -- yikes!) the thought is overwhelming.
The use of PVC and phthlatates for children's toys has been going on for years, but in January 2006, the European Union actually stepped up and placed a ban on six types of phthalate softeners used in making toys. The US government, unfortunately, has not followed suit. The city of San Francisco has, though: a ban on all products containing PVC, phthalates and bisphenol A which are targeted to children age 3 or under went into effect December 1, 2006. Chalk this up as one more reason why I love living in the Bay Area!
Bisphenol A, or BPA, is the second issue. Bisphenol A is found in hard, clear polycarbonate plastic such as Nagene bottles, many types of baby bottles, and other plastic containers. A laboratory study, reported in the journal Cancer Research in 2006, provided the first evidence of a direct link between low doses of bisphenol A and natural human estrogen exposures and cancer of the prostate gland. Researchers at the University of Cincinnati and the University of Illinois at Chicago noted that bisphenol A was initially developed for use as a synthetic estrogen before it was later used in products. So, bisphenol A mimics the human body's natural estrogen, which alters the function of the endocrine system and can raise the risk of developing cancer. Bisphenol A leaches from food and beverage containers under normal use, but increasingly with temperature and with aging.
So, again, what is a parent to do?? Believe me, I am as overwhelmed by this information as the next parent. Plastic products were one of those things which I never really thought much about before being diagnosed with cancer. I assumed that if I was buying a baby bottle or a pacifier from a well-known manufacturer of children's products (such as Avent or Gerber) that I could rest assured these products would be safe. Isn't that the whole point of paying extra for an established brand, after all?? But now I feel like I really need to think about plastics so that I can understand the issues and make sense of the information. And I know from talking with other moms in my area that they feel the same way. So here is what I have learned so far:
1) Check the bottom of your plastic containers; many are imprinted with the "chasing arrows" recycling logo. Within this logo, you'll likely find a number, which classifies the plastic according to a recycling code. Codes 1, 2, 4, and 5 are OK, but 3 and 6 are not, and 7 usually is not, either. If the number is not specified, you can call the company to learn the type of plastic used or simply replace unaccounted-for plastics with known safe alternatives. I did this simple test and ended up throwing away a handful of products, including some plastic cups from my alma mater, Pottery Barn Kids!
2) If you must use plastics numbered 3, 6 and 7, know that the following habits increase the likelihood of toxins migrating to the surface of your plastic and posing a risk:
4) For recommendations on sippy cups and other travel mugs for kids, check out the following link: sippy cups.
5) If you are in the market for a new baby or kid's toy, check out the following website which carries only eco-friendly, safe toys: Planet Happy.
So that's what I know for now. If anyone reading this blog sends me more information (which is often the case!), I'll pass it along.
There are basically two key health issues related to plastic that are important for every parent to understand:
The first issue is PVC. PVC is a chemical used to make many types of plastic products from shower curtains to hoses to IV bags. PVC is generally quite rigid (for example, it's commonly used in the construction industry to replace wood and metal) but can be made softer and more flexible by the addition of plasticizers, the most widely used being "phthalates" (pronounced thay-lates). While flexibility is obviously an attractive and necessary attribute for many products, the downside is that PVC contains the known carcinogen vinyl chloride and phthalates have been linked to reproductive birth defects, early onset of puberty, asthma, and reduced testosterone in boys. And when you begin think back and realize just how many products your children may have come into contact with which must contain these chemicals (think squishy bath toys, pacifiers, baby bottle nipples, teething rings -- yikes!) the thought is overwhelming.
The use of PVC and phthlatates for children's toys has been going on for years, but in January 2006, the European Union actually stepped up and placed a ban on six types of phthalate softeners used in making toys. The US government, unfortunately, has not followed suit. The city of San Francisco has, though: a ban on all products containing PVC, phthalates and bisphenol A which are targeted to children age 3 or under went into effect December 1, 2006. Chalk this up as one more reason why I love living in the Bay Area!
Bisphenol A, or BPA, is the second issue. Bisphenol A is found in hard, clear polycarbonate plastic such as Nagene bottles, many types of baby bottles, and other plastic containers. A laboratory study, reported in the journal Cancer Research in 2006, provided the first evidence of a direct link between low doses of bisphenol A and natural human estrogen exposures and cancer of the prostate gland. Researchers at the University of Cincinnati and the University of Illinois at Chicago noted that bisphenol A was initially developed for use as a synthetic estrogen before it was later used in products. So, bisphenol A mimics the human body's natural estrogen, which alters the function of the endocrine system and can raise the risk of developing cancer. Bisphenol A leaches from food and beverage containers under normal use, but increasingly with temperature and with aging.
So, again, what is a parent to do?? Believe me, I am as overwhelmed by this information as the next parent. Plastic products were one of those things which I never really thought much about before being diagnosed with cancer. I assumed that if I was buying a baby bottle or a pacifier from a well-known manufacturer of children's products (such as Avent or Gerber) that I could rest assured these products would be safe. Isn't that the whole point of paying extra for an established brand, after all?? But now I feel like I really need to think about plastics so that I can understand the issues and make sense of the information. And I know from talking with other moms in my area that they feel the same way. So here is what I have learned so far:
1) Check the bottom of your plastic containers; many are imprinted with the "chasing arrows" recycling logo. Within this logo, you'll likely find a number, which classifies the plastic according to a recycling code. Codes 1, 2, 4, and 5 are OK, but 3 and 6 are not, and 7 usually is not, either. If the number is not specified, you can call the company to learn the type of plastic used or simply replace unaccounted-for plastics with known safe alternatives. I did this simple test and ended up throwing away a handful of products, including some plastic cups from my alma mater, Pottery Barn Kids!
2) If you must use plastics numbered 3, 6 and 7, know that the following habits increase the likelihood of toxins migrating to the surface of your plastic and posing a risk:
- Using scratched or worn plastic containers
- Heating food in plastic containers
- Placing hot food in plastic containers to cool
- Heating foods covered in plastic wrap
- Washing plastic containers in the dishwasher
4) For recommendations on sippy cups and other travel mugs for kids, check out the following link: sippy cups.
5) If you are in the market for a new baby or kid's toy, check out the following website which carries only eco-friendly, safe toys: Planet Happy.
So that's what I know for now. If anyone reading this blog sends me more information (which is often the case!), I'll pass it along.
Microwaves & Plastic
I need to share some important info in case you are unaware:
Don't EVER microwave your food in plastic!
And when I say "plastic" this includes Tupperware containers, the new disposable plastic containers, yogurt or cottage cheese-type containers, baby bottles, Nalgene bottles, plastic children's dinnerware, etc. It also includes plastic wrap, which people sometimes put over the food to keep it from splattering.
Plastic, by definition, contains chemicals. The FDA keeps close tabs on anything designed for contact with food -- and it stands by the safety of approved plastic containers, saying they leach negligible amounts of chemicals into our food when used for their expressed purpose. (But, then, you are all aware by now my feelings about the FDA, so take their approval with a grain of salt!)
But what about the new disposable plastic container that you used for leftovers and then popped into the microwave for reheating? Federal standards only address how plastic performs during it's "intended use." While studies are mixed as to how much of the chemicals in plastic we can tolerate ingesting, research does confirm at least three things: First, certain types of plastic contain dangerous compounds, including carcinogens and hormone imitators, substances that the body can mistake for estrogen or which alter testosterone levels in boys (I'll write more about this in a separate entry); second, overheating or overusing plastic food containers can cause these compounds to "migrate" into food; and third, heat from microwaving mixed with high levels of fat in foods like meat, cheese or breastmilk will expedite this migration.
So what is a busy mom with cranky, hungry kids suppose to do? Take the time to switch your food from the plastic container to one that is glass or ceramic and cover your food with a napkin or paper towel rather than plastic wrap before you microwave. Yes, it's an added step, but it only takes about 10 seconds and it will keep cancer-causing chemicals out of your children's food, and hence, out of their adorable, little bodies.
Don't EVER microwave your food in plastic!
And when I say "plastic" this includes Tupperware containers, the new disposable plastic containers, yogurt or cottage cheese-type containers, baby bottles, Nalgene bottles, plastic children's dinnerware, etc. It also includes plastic wrap, which people sometimes put over the food to keep it from splattering.
Plastic, by definition, contains chemicals. The FDA keeps close tabs on anything designed for contact with food -- and it stands by the safety of approved plastic containers, saying they leach negligible amounts of chemicals into our food when used for their expressed purpose. (But, then, you are all aware by now my feelings about the FDA, so take their approval with a grain of salt!)
But what about the new disposable plastic container that you used for leftovers and then popped into the microwave for reheating? Federal standards only address how plastic performs during it's "intended use." While studies are mixed as to how much of the chemicals in plastic we can tolerate ingesting, research does confirm at least three things: First, certain types of plastic contain dangerous compounds, including carcinogens and hormone imitators, substances that the body can mistake for estrogen or which alter testosterone levels in boys (I'll write more about this in a separate entry); second, overheating or overusing plastic food containers can cause these compounds to "migrate" into food; and third, heat from microwaving mixed with high levels of fat in foods like meat, cheese or breastmilk will expedite this migration.
So what is a busy mom with cranky, hungry kids suppose to do? Take the time to switch your food from the plastic container to one that is glass or ceramic and cover your food with a napkin or paper towel rather than plastic wrap before you microwave. Yes, it's an added step, but it only takes about 10 seconds and it will keep cancer-causing chemicals out of your children's food, and hence, out of their adorable, little bodies.
Sunday, September 16, 2007
The Benefits of Child-Free Church
Pete and I had the opportunity to go to church last night "child-free" and it was soooo lovely!
Don't get me wrong...I love exposing my boys to church and nurturing their spiritual side. And I realize that the best -- and possibly only -- way for young children to learn and understand "appropriate" church behavior is to actually go to church and live the experience. But I also have to say that it was really, really nice to go by ourselves. For the first time in quite awhile we did not have to discretely fetch a toy that had been hurled 5 pews ahead, or rescue Lovey Bear from his impromptu bath in the baptismal pool, or keep Kyle from joining Father Tarantino at the alter, or explain to Luke in whispers why taking over the entire pew to have bloody Power Ranger battles during service is not really appropriate. Instead, we actually got to soak in every word of Father Tarantino's sermon and reflect on its meaning for our lives. And, if I didn't know better, I'd swear he wrote the entire homily specifically for me!
He talked at length about living a life of "no regrets" and his message was incredibly similar to the one I have been espousing: that life is not a dress rehearsal and you might never get another chance to live the life that you want if you don't start today. Interestingly, Father Tarantino is also a cancer survivor (he is a 30+ year survivor of leukemia) and so we share a common bond. We have both stood at the same precipice; we have both confronted the same overwhelming fears. And so, listening to his sermon, I couldn't help but feel that he was speaking directly to me. I have reached the point emotionally on this climb that I fully admit my mind is scrambling to find the exit door. I want sooooo badly to be done with treatment!! I want sooo badly for Dr Gullion to tell me that he doesn't recommend that I do any more cycles. I just want to collapse in a heap and let my body recover. But I also know in my heart that if I don't finish all eight sessions and if this cancer were ever to come back I would be filled with so much regret. And so, I like to think that God personally delivered me to church yesterday so that He could give me a little pep talk and He made sure that my boys were cared for elsewhere so that I could actually listen to what he had to say. :)
There was something else that Father Tarantino said in his homily which resonated with me. He promised that God will guide me to whatever my next path in life is suppose to be. I really needed to hear this message and now I really need to embrace it. As the top of my mountain becomes nearer and nearer, I find myself becoming more and more anxious about what my "post cancer" life is suppose to be. I have talked with other cancer survivors about this and it seems that the anxiety I feel is not unique to me -- many other survivors also want to emerge from this experience and lead a more "purpose driven" life -- but that doesn't necessarily help. I still spend a ridiculous amount of each day wondering what the heck I am suppose to do with myself next. I have some strong feelings about what I DON'T want to do and some definite opinions about what DOES inspires me, but nothing has fully crystalized.
I have spoken to God more times that I can count over these past 8 months. I have never asked him "Why me?" The answer doesn't matter...my situation is what it is. Rather, every time I speak to Him I say the same thing: "God, I WANT to live! I NEED to live! I have so much still to offer this world. You blessed me with many strengths and abilities....Help me to understand what my path in life is suppose to be and I promise that I will accomplish great things." And so it was helpful for me to be reminded by Father Tarantino that I just need to be patient and keep my eyes wide open.
Don't get me wrong...I love exposing my boys to church and nurturing their spiritual side. And I realize that the best -- and possibly only -- way for young children to learn and understand "appropriate" church behavior is to actually go to church and live the experience. But I also have to say that it was really, really nice to go by ourselves. For the first time in quite awhile we did not have to discretely fetch a toy that had been hurled 5 pews ahead, or rescue Lovey Bear from his impromptu bath in the baptismal pool, or keep Kyle from joining Father Tarantino at the alter, or explain to Luke in whispers why taking over the entire pew to have bloody Power Ranger battles during service is not really appropriate. Instead, we actually got to soak in every word of Father Tarantino's sermon and reflect on its meaning for our lives. And, if I didn't know better, I'd swear he wrote the entire homily specifically for me!
He talked at length about living a life of "no regrets" and his message was incredibly similar to the one I have been espousing: that life is not a dress rehearsal and you might never get another chance to live the life that you want if you don't start today. Interestingly, Father Tarantino is also a cancer survivor (he is a 30+ year survivor of leukemia) and so we share a common bond. We have both stood at the same precipice; we have both confronted the same overwhelming fears. And so, listening to his sermon, I couldn't help but feel that he was speaking directly to me. I have reached the point emotionally on this climb that I fully admit my mind is scrambling to find the exit door. I want sooooo badly to be done with treatment!! I want sooo badly for Dr Gullion to tell me that he doesn't recommend that I do any more cycles. I just want to collapse in a heap and let my body recover. But I also know in my heart that if I don't finish all eight sessions and if this cancer were ever to come back I would be filled with so much regret. And so, I like to think that God personally delivered me to church yesterday so that He could give me a little pep talk and He made sure that my boys were cared for elsewhere so that I could actually listen to what he had to say. :)
There was something else that Father Tarantino said in his homily which resonated with me. He promised that God will guide me to whatever my next path in life is suppose to be. I really needed to hear this message and now I really need to embrace it. As the top of my mountain becomes nearer and nearer, I find myself becoming more and more anxious about what my "post cancer" life is suppose to be. I have talked with other cancer survivors about this and it seems that the anxiety I feel is not unique to me -- many other survivors also want to emerge from this experience and lead a more "purpose driven" life -- but that doesn't necessarily help. I still spend a ridiculous amount of each day wondering what the heck I am suppose to do with myself next. I have some strong feelings about what I DON'T want to do and some definite opinions about what DOES inspires me, but nothing has fully crystalized.
I have spoken to God more times that I can count over these past 8 months. I have never asked him "Why me?" The answer doesn't matter...my situation is what it is. Rather, every time I speak to Him I say the same thing: "God, I WANT to live! I NEED to live! I have so much still to offer this world. You blessed me with many strengths and abilities....Help me to understand what my path in life is suppose to be and I promise that I will accomplish great things." And so it was helpful for me to be reminded by Father Tarantino that I just need to be patient and keep my eyes wide open.
The Blessing of Family
Pete's parents, Betsy and John, came into town this week. They arrived on Monday afternoon and, had my parents not taken advantage of my "bonus" good week and slipped out of town a few days prior (at Pete's and my urging!), I think that we would have held an official "Passing of the Baton" ceremony!
Ever since my diagnosis in early February, when we called our parents in tears to share the news, either my parents or my in-laws have been in-town and "on call" to help us almost every single moment. All four of them have coordinated their busy schedules seamlessly, flown countless miles, temporarily relocated their lives to a new state, and put numerous personal appointments on hold so that we would have continual coverage and help. I know that I have said this a million times, but I need to say it at least a million more: We are soooo blessed to have such wonderful family through this whole journey!!
I have wondered countless times how people survive cancer if they don't have family around to help. I know that there are women out there -- some of whom have my exact same diagnosis and are undergoing my exact same treatment -- who are not as fortunate as me. For whatever reason, they don't have family nearby to care for their children or to help with the multitude of chores that just accompany everyday life (like laundry, cooking or grocery shopping.) I am sure that in situations like this, friends willingly jump in to fill some of these roles -- and we have been blessed in this regard as well -- but, it's hard to lean on friends the same way that you lean on family.
Most of our close friends have families of their own to care for and so would be less able to come over every morning at 7am to help with the morning chaos, or to sit with me at an appointment that lasts 2 hours rather than the expected 30 minutes, or to help Luke with his homework every afternoon so that I can rest, or to take Kyle to their house to spend the night on a moment's notice. These are all things -- and much, much more! -- that my parents and my in-laws have done day after day.
When I took Kyle in for his two year check up, our pediatrician admitted that she would not have been surprised for Luke and Kyle to have regressed a bit during this time, given all that we have been through. But, in fact, the opposite has happened: our kids have flourished!! Kyle was barely speaking in February and now he is putting complex sentences together! And the kid is seriously destined for a major sports career -- he can drop kick a ball clear across the room and throws a wickedly accurate fast ball! Luke has obviously been much more aware of what is going on, but seems almost completely unaffected by it all. He eased into 1st grade without a hitch and is now mastering reading and fairly advanced math like a champ. He is the proud grower of 5 tomato plants and he continues to be a wonder-kid with regards to athletics, switching effortlessly between soccer, tennis, golf, and advanced bouncing-off-the-wall. Most importantly, though, is that both of our children seem to spend the better part of each day happy and laughing, for which we can only thank my parents, my in-laws and our wonderful nanny, Anne (who I now feel is like a sister to me!)
In my early entry "My Mountain," I wrote about "two breathtakingly beautiful angels [who] will swing down to me in their harnesses and ropes to help me smile and to give me strength and hope as I climb." And this is exactly what has happened. Because of the wonderful care and love that my children have received, I have been able to focus so much energy on healing my body. And Pete, who is my climbing partner extrordinaire, has been able to stay focused on "securing my ropes." And together as a family (me, Pete, the boys, our parents and Anne), we have slowly, day-by-day worked together to overcome this incredible obstacle that confronted us and we have all grown closer as a result.
My mom has told me numerous times that I don't need to thank them -- this is what families do, she says. There is nothing more important in their life than helping me to heal, she tells me. And I know in my heart that this is true. But in thinking back on the past 8 months, I also know that there is no way that I could ever climb this mountain alone -- it is just too damn hard! And I feel so much sorrow in my heart for people who have no choice. This mountain has consumed many a climber, I know, and I have to believe that many of the climbers who never make it to the top are the ones climbing alone. Having a wonderful family is truly a blessing and I wish that there was some way that I could show everyone how much their love and support means to me, but I think that the best "thank you" that I can give is just to heal. I think that would be the greatest gift of all and so I hope and pray that this is a gift that I can give.
Ever since my diagnosis in early February, when we called our parents in tears to share the news, either my parents or my in-laws have been in-town and "on call" to help us almost every single moment. All four of them have coordinated their busy schedules seamlessly, flown countless miles, temporarily relocated their lives to a new state, and put numerous personal appointments on hold so that we would have continual coverage and help. I know that I have said this a million times, but I need to say it at least a million more: We are soooo blessed to have such wonderful family through this whole journey!!
I have wondered countless times how people survive cancer if they don't have family around to help. I know that there are women out there -- some of whom have my exact same diagnosis and are undergoing my exact same treatment -- who are not as fortunate as me. For whatever reason, they don't have family nearby to care for their children or to help with the multitude of chores that just accompany everyday life (like laundry, cooking or grocery shopping.) I am sure that in situations like this, friends willingly jump in to fill some of these roles -- and we have been blessed in this regard as well -- but, it's hard to lean on friends the same way that you lean on family.
Most of our close friends have families of their own to care for and so would be less able to come over every morning at 7am to help with the morning chaos, or to sit with me at an appointment that lasts 2 hours rather than the expected 30 minutes, or to help Luke with his homework every afternoon so that I can rest, or to take Kyle to their house to spend the night on a moment's notice. These are all things -- and much, much more! -- that my parents and my in-laws have done day after day.
When I took Kyle in for his two year check up, our pediatrician admitted that she would not have been surprised for Luke and Kyle to have regressed a bit during this time, given all that we have been through. But, in fact, the opposite has happened: our kids have flourished!! Kyle was barely speaking in February and now he is putting complex sentences together! And the kid is seriously destined for a major sports career -- he can drop kick a ball clear across the room and throws a wickedly accurate fast ball! Luke has obviously been much more aware of what is going on, but seems almost completely unaffected by it all. He eased into 1st grade without a hitch and is now mastering reading and fairly advanced math like a champ. He is the proud grower of 5 tomato plants and he continues to be a wonder-kid with regards to athletics, switching effortlessly between soccer, tennis, golf, and advanced bouncing-off-the-wall. Most importantly, though, is that both of our children seem to spend the better part of each day happy and laughing, for which we can only thank my parents, my in-laws and our wonderful nanny, Anne (who I now feel is like a sister to me!)
In my early entry "My Mountain," I wrote about "two breathtakingly beautiful angels [who] will swing down to me in their harnesses and ropes to help me smile and to give me strength and hope as I climb." And this is exactly what has happened. Because of the wonderful care and love that my children have received, I have been able to focus so much energy on healing my body. And Pete, who is my climbing partner extrordinaire, has been able to stay focused on "securing my ropes." And together as a family (me, Pete, the boys, our parents and Anne), we have slowly, day-by-day worked together to overcome this incredible obstacle that confronted us and we have all grown closer as a result.
My mom has told me numerous times that I don't need to thank them -- this is what families do, she says. There is nothing more important in their life than helping me to heal, she tells me. And I know in my heart that this is true. But in thinking back on the past 8 months, I also know that there is no way that I could ever climb this mountain alone -- it is just too damn hard! And I feel so much sorrow in my heart for people who have no choice. This mountain has consumed many a climber, I know, and I have to believe that many of the climbers who never make it to the top are the ones climbing alone. Having a wonderful family is truly a blessing and I wish that there was some way that I could show everyone how much their love and support means to me, but I think that the best "thank you" that I can give is just to heal. I think that would be the greatest gift of all and so I hope and pray that this is a gift that I can give.
Checking In
Yes, I am still here and still very much alive, despite the many days and nights of complete silence!! I just haven't had the energy this week to write anything, that's all. Unfortunately, not having the energy to write hasn't stop my mind from thinking of a million things to write ABOUT this week, and so now I have a virtual bottleneck going on in my head!
So where to begin?? I'll start by saying that I am finally on the "upswing" from this last cycle, and THANK GOD for that! It was a really hard week for many of the same old reasons, but, in addition, I am finally feeling like my body is on the verge of collapsing. I have been so incredibly tired this cycle that I told Pete that I will be shocked if my red blood count is anywhere close to normal. This is not unexpected....just like with the white blood cells and platelets (all of which are "fast dividing cells") the red blood cells take a beating every time I have chemo. The result is anemia, which is defined as "a feeling of weakness or diminished physical and mental capacity unrelieved by rest." Yep, that would be me! If I remember correctly, though, the body requires about 14 days to replenish white blood cells, but only 3-4 days to replenish red blood cells (Jeremy/Shannon -- is this correct??) and so hopefully I'll feel better in a few days. The other "verge of collapse" issue that I have had is that every morning for the past few days I have woken up feeling like I am about to get a cold (yesterday it was non-stop sneezing, today is a constant, annoying cough) but then I take my Neupogen shot and somehow, miraculously, I slip by without the symptoms progressing into a full-blown cold. Needless to say, I am counting my blessings on that front. I cannot imagine going through chemo and having a cold at the same time -- I think that would be the low of all lows. In fact, I think that would be even worse than chemo + poison oak, and believe me, that sucked!
And so, as usual, I am just taking things day by day and happy beyond belief that I am finally past my hardest days (which are turning out pretty consistently to be Thursday and Friday of my chemo weeks.) I know that every day going forward now I will just feel better and better. Well, until the next cycle anyway....But now I only have 3 more to go! Woo Hoo!!
So where to begin?? I'll start by saying that I am finally on the "upswing" from this last cycle, and THANK GOD for that! It was a really hard week for many of the same old reasons, but, in addition, I am finally feeling like my body is on the verge of collapsing. I have been so incredibly tired this cycle that I told Pete that I will be shocked if my red blood count is anywhere close to normal. This is not unexpected....just like with the white blood cells and platelets (all of which are "fast dividing cells") the red blood cells take a beating every time I have chemo. The result is anemia, which is defined as "a feeling of weakness or diminished physical and mental capacity unrelieved by rest." Yep, that would be me! If I remember correctly, though, the body requires about 14 days to replenish white blood cells, but only 3-4 days to replenish red blood cells (Jeremy/Shannon -- is this correct??) and so hopefully I'll feel better in a few days. The other "verge of collapse" issue that I have had is that every morning for the past few days I have woken up feeling like I am about to get a cold (yesterday it was non-stop sneezing, today is a constant, annoying cough) but then I take my Neupogen shot and somehow, miraculously, I slip by without the symptoms progressing into a full-blown cold. Needless to say, I am counting my blessings on that front. I cannot imagine going through chemo and having a cold at the same time -- I think that would be the low of all lows. In fact, I think that would be even worse than chemo + poison oak, and believe me, that sucked!
And so, as usual, I am just taking things day by day and happy beyond belief that I am finally past my hardest days (which are turning out pretty consistently to be Thursday and Friday of my chemo weeks.) I know that every day going forward now I will just feel better and better. Well, until the next cycle anyway....But now I only have 3 more to go! Woo Hoo!!
Tuesday, September 11, 2007
We Are All From This Earth
One of the realities of going through chemo treatment is that, within each cycle, I inevitably have two or three days when I feel so crummy that all I want to do is lay on the couch and watch mindless television. In fact, last cycle Pete came home from work to find me glued to my third hour of watching "America's Next Top Model." Ha ha!
I have never really been a TV watcher. In fact, were it not for the occasional World Cup Soccer Finals or 9/11 sort of breaking news, I think that both Pete and I could easily live without a TV in our home at all. I am always constantly perplexed when I hear that the average American spends three (or is it four?) hours a day watching TV - how can this be?? What the heck are they watching?? Or, more importantly, what other activities in their life are being re-prioritized so that they can sit in front of the TV for that many hours? Even on my grimmest days, I truly have to struggle to find anything that is worth watching, and, believe me, my standards on these days are NOT high. The one exception to this rule is Oprah. I have always love Oprah. I love her for probably the same reason that most people love her: she is about as honest and "tell it like it is" as people come.
A couple chemo cycles ago, I watched one of her shows entitled "Answers to Questions You Always Wanted to Ask." For example, one of the guests that she invited on the show talked about where our sewage actually goes after we flush and how it is treated and "reclaimed" so that it can be reused for watering landscaping, etc. Hmmm...who knew! The more interesting topic for me, though, was "What happens to all the roadkill on our highways and roads?" Okay, at this point, you are probably asking yourself whether I am beginning to lose it....What exactly is this chemo doing to my brain that I might find the topic of roadkill to be so interesting, you might wonder, but bear with me...
The guest that Oprah invited on to answer this question was some guy whose sole job is to clear the highways in New Jersey of any and all roadkill. As he explained, he wanders the highways looking for roadkill or responds to leads called in by commuters and then loads the dead animals into his truck for disposal. As the guest is speaking, there is video footage illustrating the process in quite graphic detail, including deer frozen in position by rigormortis. Once is truck is full, he drives to a huge compost pile and buries the animals, where the animal carcasses eventually decompose and become compost. The compost is then sold as fertilizer at local garden shops. At this point, the audience let out a huge collective moan of disgust and the cameras pan over the crowd to show some women covering their faces in horror. I don't know if, prior to everything I have gone through, I would have covered my face and moaned as well -- it's hard to put myself back in that mind frame. What I do know, however, is that I actually found Mr. Roadkill Collector's description of the animal compost to be quite beautiful.
Through this whole journey of mine, I have spent hours upon hours contemplating the meaning of life and the meaning of death, and one of the things that has brought me the most lasting comfort is the idea that we are all from this Earth. From the very first day of conception, our bodies are nourished and grow only by the grace of the food that we eat (or that our mother's ate), the air that we breathe and the water that we drink. And all of these things come from the Earth. We are really nothing more than trillions of cells that have figured out a way to convert these natural substances into something highly evolved and complex - nothing short of a miracle for sure! And so, when I think about the fact that we are but highly complex manifestations of air, food and water, I can't help but find comfort in the fact that someday my body -- this vessel of mine which temporarily carries around my soul -- will someday return to the Earth.
After watching this show, I told Pete that I want to be cremated when I die. I can't bear the thought that some poor tree would be cut down in order to be turned into a coffin to hold my remains. And I can't bear the thought of my body being filled with formaldehyde in order to preserve some semblance of "normalcy" while I am buried 6 feet underground. I want my body to be returned to the Earth from which it came, in the most natural and chemical-free state possible. I find comfort in the thought that my ashes might blow temporarily in the wind only to eventually settle on the ground and begin nourishing some living being and bringing forth more life. I find comfort in the thought that this body of mine, which I take such meticulous care of now, might help beautiful wildflowers grow in my "healing place" near Tennessee Valley Beach, and I think of my children and other loved ones visiting this place and seeing it brimming with life and knowing that I am there for eternity, and that the material that once comprised my living being is continuing on in the cycle of life. We are all going to die someday (hopefully, my day is still another 60 years from now!) but somehow the thought of dying becomes more bearable when framed this way.
And so there you have it: life's most important inspirations can come from anywhere, even a discussion about roadkill on Oprah!
I have never really been a TV watcher. In fact, were it not for the occasional World Cup Soccer Finals or 9/11 sort of breaking news, I think that both Pete and I could easily live without a TV in our home at all. I am always constantly perplexed when I hear that the average American spends three (or is it four?) hours a day watching TV - how can this be?? What the heck are they watching?? Or, more importantly, what other activities in their life are being re-prioritized so that they can sit in front of the TV for that many hours? Even on my grimmest days, I truly have to struggle to find anything that is worth watching, and, believe me, my standards on these days are NOT high. The one exception to this rule is Oprah. I have always love Oprah. I love her for probably the same reason that most people love her: she is about as honest and "tell it like it is" as people come.
A couple chemo cycles ago, I watched one of her shows entitled "Answers to Questions You Always Wanted to Ask." For example, one of the guests that she invited on the show talked about where our sewage actually goes after we flush and how it is treated and "reclaimed" so that it can be reused for watering landscaping, etc. Hmmm...who knew! The more interesting topic for me, though, was "What happens to all the roadkill on our highways and roads?" Okay, at this point, you are probably asking yourself whether I am beginning to lose it....What exactly is this chemo doing to my brain that I might find the topic of roadkill to be so interesting, you might wonder, but bear with me...
The guest that Oprah invited on to answer this question was some guy whose sole job is to clear the highways in New Jersey of any and all roadkill. As he explained, he wanders the highways looking for roadkill or responds to leads called in by commuters and then loads the dead animals into his truck for disposal. As the guest is speaking, there is video footage illustrating the process in quite graphic detail, including deer frozen in position by rigormortis. Once is truck is full, he drives to a huge compost pile and buries the animals, where the animal carcasses eventually decompose and become compost. The compost is then sold as fertilizer at local garden shops. At this point, the audience let out a huge collective moan of disgust and the cameras pan over the crowd to show some women covering their faces in horror. I don't know if, prior to everything I have gone through, I would have covered my face and moaned as well -- it's hard to put myself back in that mind frame. What I do know, however, is that I actually found Mr. Roadkill Collector's description of the animal compost to be quite beautiful.
Through this whole journey of mine, I have spent hours upon hours contemplating the meaning of life and the meaning of death, and one of the things that has brought me the most lasting comfort is the idea that we are all from this Earth. From the very first day of conception, our bodies are nourished and grow only by the grace of the food that we eat (or that our mother's ate), the air that we breathe and the water that we drink. And all of these things come from the Earth. We are really nothing more than trillions of cells that have figured out a way to convert these natural substances into something highly evolved and complex - nothing short of a miracle for sure! And so, when I think about the fact that we are but highly complex manifestations of air, food and water, I can't help but find comfort in the fact that someday my body -- this vessel of mine which temporarily carries around my soul -- will someday return to the Earth.
After watching this show, I told Pete that I want to be cremated when I die. I can't bear the thought that some poor tree would be cut down in order to be turned into a coffin to hold my remains. And I can't bear the thought of my body being filled with formaldehyde in order to preserve some semblance of "normalcy" while I am buried 6 feet underground. I want my body to be returned to the Earth from which it came, in the most natural and chemical-free state possible. I find comfort in the thought that my ashes might blow temporarily in the wind only to eventually settle on the ground and begin nourishing some living being and bringing forth more life. I find comfort in the thought that this body of mine, which I take such meticulous care of now, might help beautiful wildflowers grow in my "healing place" near Tennessee Valley Beach, and I think of my children and other loved ones visiting this place and seeing it brimming with life and knowing that I am there for eternity, and that the material that once comprised my living being is continuing on in the cycle of life. We are all going to die someday (hopefully, my day is still another 60 years from now!) but somehow the thought of dying becomes more bearable when framed this way.
And so there you have it: life's most important inspirations can come from anywhere, even a discussion about roadkill on Oprah!
Monday, September 10, 2007
"Mo Lub Ewes"
I have a very cute game that I play with both of my kids. It starts by me saying "Guess what?!" with a very mischievious look in my eye. Luke or Kyle then say "What Mommy? What?" at which point I yell "I loooooove you!" while smothering their little bodies with kisses.
Yesterday, I played this game with Kyle and he was so darn cute!!! After we had played the game four or five times, I told him that it was time to stop and get dressed for the day (he was wearing only a diaper and there is nothing better kissing a naked baby belly!)
In response, though, Kyle emphatically demanded "No Mommy! NOOOOOO!! Mo lub ewes!" For those who have never been exposed to Kyle's adorable little two-year-old language, this sentence translates into "More love you's!" How could I possibly deny the little guy when he is so darn cute?? Trust me, it's impossible! So needless to say, we continued playing "I Lub Ewes" for another half hour.
Of course, our morning schedule and "To Do" list were thrown off a bit by this unexpected turn of events, but it was a lazy Sunday morning and I decided that there was really nothing more important that I needed to be doing other than telling my child how much I love him. It's truly amazing how effective young children are at keeping you living in the moment!!
Yesterday, I played this game with Kyle and he was so darn cute!!! After we had played the game four or five times, I told him that it was time to stop and get dressed for the day (he was wearing only a diaper and there is nothing better kissing a naked baby belly!)
In response, though, Kyle emphatically demanded "No Mommy! NOOOOOO!! Mo lub ewes!" For those who have never been exposed to Kyle's adorable little two-year-old language, this sentence translates into "More love you's!" How could I possibly deny the little guy when he is so darn cute?? Trust me, it's impossible! So needless to say, we continued playing "I Lub Ewes" for another half hour.
Of course, our morning schedule and "To Do" list were thrown off a bit by this unexpected turn of events, but it was a lazy Sunday morning and I decided that there was really nothing more important that I needed to be doing other than telling my child how much I love him. It's truly amazing how effective young children are at keeping you living in the moment!!
Another Life Saved
I spoke with another friend of Pete's and mine this weekend about screening for colon cancer. Both she and her husband were prompted to get themselves screened based both on my experience and on the fact that one of their children was having some digestive issues that required attention (and so they wanted to ensure that there was nothing genetic going on.)
And it's a really, really great thing that they were so proactive! My friend got a clean bill of health, but her husband had FOUR pre-cancerous polyps removed! He is also 39 years old -- a solid 11 years away from the age when most insurance will cover colonoscopies.
I think that, rather than having a traffic counter on my blog, I need to figure out a way to keep track of all my wonderful friends and family who are getting themselves screened for colon cancer, since these are the statistics that would make me really, really happy! :)
And it's a really, really great thing that they were so proactive! My friend got a clean bill of health, but her husband had FOUR pre-cancerous polyps removed! He is also 39 years old -- a solid 11 years away from the age when most insurance will cover colonoscopies.
I think that, rather than having a traffic counter on my blog, I need to figure out a way to keep track of all my wonderful friends and family who are getting themselves screened for colon cancer, since these are the statistics that would make me really, really happy! :)
Without A Hitch
My chemo treatment today went off without a hitch. My blood tests showed that the extra week of healing did the trick: my white count rose slightly to 2.9 (which is still low, so more Neupogen shots needed this week, but acceptable from a chemo perspective) and my platelets rose to 111 (last Tuesday they were only at 66 and the minimum for treatment is 75.) I still have lots of random bruises all over my body and a few other mild symptoms -- for example, my tastebuds are starting to get pretty numb and so I have trouble tasting most foods and I feel really weak on some days. But so far, I am still hanging in there.
And so, with very mixed emotions, I did another treatment of FOLFOX today. I say "mixed emotions" since I would have obviously loved to have been just about anywhere else other than sitting in the "chemo lounge" at the Marin Cancer Center, but since there is no way to avoid what I have to go through, I figure the sooner I get going, the sooner I'll be done!
And so, with very mixed emotions, I did another treatment of FOLFOX today. I say "mixed emotions" since I would have obviously loved to have been just about anywhere else other than sitting in the "chemo lounge" at the Marin Cancer Center, but since there is no way to avoid what I have to go through, I figure the sooner I get going, the sooner I'll be done!
Tuesday, September 4, 2007
Screening for Colon Cancer
Since I was diagnosed with colon cancer in February, I have had three friends who were inspired (or panicked??) by my experience to reach out to their doctors and schedule a colonscopy for themselves. For two of the women, colon cancer ran in their families, which is what made them take action. And the third friend was having digestive issues which concerned her. All three are women my age, all have young children at home, and all three are very physically active. None of them -- like me -- fit the profile of what most doctors would expect for colon cancer.
And yet, two of them wrote and told me that their doctors found and removed polyps during the colonoscopy (luckily, the third friend got a clean bill of health and peace of mind!) And as you may remember from one of my earlier postings, polyps are often a precursor to colon cancer. Removing the polyp removes the cancer (or pre-cancer) completely and this is why colon cancer -- if caught early enough -- is very treatable and very curable. The trick, though, is to catch it early -- hence, scheduling yourself in for a screening colonoscopy before you even have symptoms.
My one friend wrote to thank me for "saving her life." She said that her doctor initially did not want to approve her having a colonoscopy at her age and wanted her to wait until the recommended age of 50, but because of me and because of her family history of colon cancer, she persisted until he finally gave in. As it turns out, she had three polyps removed and, if she had followed her doctor's advice, I have to believe that she probably would not have lived to see the age of 50!!
In the course of my treatment, I have also learned of another incredibly sad story. A woman who was a classmate of mine at Kellogg was diagnosed a few months ago with stage 4 colon cancer. Her cancer has spread to her lungs -- ironically, she was having chest x-rays done in order to figure out why she had a persistent cough when they discovered the cancer in her lungs and traced it back to colon cancer. She is also roughly my age with a young child at home. From what I have heard through mutual friends, she also had a family history of colon cancer and yet her doctors mis-diagnosed her digestive symptoms for the past two years as simply "irritable bowel syndrome." And now, it sounds as though her cancer has progressed to the point of being uncurable.
I could go on and on...Through this whole ordeal I have met a number of other women -- all of whom are also roughly my age -- who are battling either stage 3 or stage 4 colon cancer. You'd think that I would be somehow reassured by these other women; that it would be a comfort to me that I am not the only one going through this, but the reality is that I find it horrifying!! How is it that so many young women -- who clearly do not fit the typical profile for colon cancer -- are being diagnosed with this dreadful disease?!? How can it be that so many of us go mis-diagnosed for so long? Why is this happening?!?
I was asked recently to help the American Cancer Society in my area with a marketing campaign that they are undertaking: they are hoping to increase the screening rates for colon cancer with doctors in our area and want help in coming up with the strategy and execution of the marketing plan. "Sign me up!" I said, "I would LOVE to help!" I cannot think of a better way to use all of the years of marketing experience that I have accumulated than to help ensure that other people -- especially young women!! -- receive the screening necessary to prevent this awful disease. I'll keep you posted on how the plan unfolds, but I can already tell you the main message: Get Yourself Screened for Colon Cancer Now!!
And yet, two of them wrote and told me that their doctors found and removed polyps during the colonoscopy (luckily, the third friend got a clean bill of health and peace of mind!) And as you may remember from one of my earlier postings, polyps are often a precursor to colon cancer. Removing the polyp removes the cancer (or pre-cancer) completely and this is why colon cancer -- if caught early enough -- is very treatable and very curable. The trick, though, is to catch it early -- hence, scheduling yourself in for a screening colonoscopy before you even have symptoms.
My one friend wrote to thank me for "saving her life." She said that her doctor initially did not want to approve her having a colonoscopy at her age and wanted her to wait until the recommended age of 50, but because of me and because of her family history of colon cancer, she persisted until he finally gave in. As it turns out, she had three polyps removed and, if she had followed her doctor's advice, I have to believe that she probably would not have lived to see the age of 50!!
In the course of my treatment, I have also learned of another incredibly sad story. A woman who was a classmate of mine at Kellogg was diagnosed a few months ago with stage 4 colon cancer. Her cancer has spread to her lungs -- ironically, she was having chest x-rays done in order to figure out why she had a persistent cough when they discovered the cancer in her lungs and traced it back to colon cancer. She is also roughly my age with a young child at home. From what I have heard through mutual friends, she also had a family history of colon cancer and yet her doctors mis-diagnosed her digestive symptoms for the past two years as simply "irritable bowel syndrome." And now, it sounds as though her cancer has progressed to the point of being uncurable.
I could go on and on...Through this whole ordeal I have met a number of other women -- all of whom are also roughly my age -- who are battling either stage 3 or stage 4 colon cancer. You'd think that I would be somehow reassured by these other women; that it would be a comfort to me that I am not the only one going through this, but the reality is that I find it horrifying!! How is it that so many young women -- who clearly do not fit the typical profile for colon cancer -- are being diagnosed with this dreadful disease?!? How can it be that so many of us go mis-diagnosed for so long? Why is this happening?!?
I was asked recently to help the American Cancer Society in my area with a marketing campaign that they are undertaking: they are hoping to increase the screening rates for colon cancer with doctors in our area and want help in coming up with the strategy and execution of the marketing plan. "Sign me up!" I said, "I would LOVE to help!" I cannot think of a better way to use all of the years of marketing experience that I have accumulated than to help ensure that other people -- especially young women!! -- receive the screening necessary to prevent this awful disease. I'll keep you posted on how the plan unfolds, but I can already tell you the main message: Get Yourself Screened for Colon Cancer Now!!
Chemo Cycle Delayed
Everyone keeps telling me how great I look despite all of my treatments, but looks are deceiving! I might still look pretty normal on the outside, but apparently, my insides are taking quite a beating.....
I was supposed to have my fifth chemo cycle this morning, but unfortunately, it got delayed because my platelet count dropped too low -- it's only 66 and Dr Gullion said that it needs to be at least 75 in order to proceed (I'm not sure what "75" or "66" mean exactly, but I do remember that when I started this whole adventure my count was somewhere in the 200's) So he sent me home to rest and recuperate for another week and I'll go back in next Monday for treatment #5, assuming that my platelets recover.
The good news is that my white blood count did rebound a bit. Apparently, the Neupogen shots did the trick! If you remember, my WBC had dropped to 1.0 last week (1.5 is the low end of what's acceptable) but this week it was up to 2.3. Woo Hoo!! Go E-coli!! This was particularly great news seeing as Kyle has his first cold of the season. Poor little guy had a fever of 101.5 last night! Needless to say, I am trying my best to steer clear, but it's heartbreaking to be a mom with a sick kid and not be able to give the little guy a big huge hug!
So now I am at a bit of a loss as to what to do with myself this week -- I was all geared up for this to be a "hell" week and now I have another week off. Hmmm...not a bad dilemma to have, eh? Actually, on the one hand, I am thrilled, since this obviously means another week of feeling good, but on the other hand I am sad to be thrown off course. I had my mind set on October 15th as being my last day of treatment -- it was really helpful for me to have that date as a "mental anchor" -- and that's obviously no longer the case. Plus, Pete and I had foolishly planned a number of fun weekend adventures around my chemo schedule and now our plans are all messed up.
But it is what it is. There is nothing that I can do about it. And I trust that Dr Gullion is making all the right decisions to get me through this whole experience in one piece, which is the most important thing in the end.
I was supposed to have my fifth chemo cycle this morning, but unfortunately, it got delayed because my platelet count dropped too low -- it's only 66 and Dr Gullion said that it needs to be at least 75 in order to proceed (I'm not sure what "75" or "66" mean exactly, but I do remember that when I started this whole adventure my count was somewhere in the 200's) So he sent me home to rest and recuperate for another week and I'll go back in next Monday for treatment #5, assuming that my platelets recover.
The good news is that my white blood count did rebound a bit. Apparently, the Neupogen shots did the trick! If you remember, my WBC had dropped to 1.0 last week (1.5 is the low end of what's acceptable) but this week it was up to 2.3. Woo Hoo!! Go E-coli!! This was particularly great news seeing as Kyle has his first cold of the season. Poor little guy had a fever of 101.5 last night! Needless to say, I am trying my best to steer clear, but it's heartbreaking to be a mom with a sick kid and not be able to give the little guy a big huge hug!
So now I am at a bit of a loss as to what to do with myself this week -- I was all geared up for this to be a "hell" week and now I have another week off. Hmmm...not a bad dilemma to have, eh? Actually, on the one hand, I am thrilled, since this obviously means another week of feeling good, but on the other hand I am sad to be thrown off course. I had my mind set on October 15th as being my last day of treatment -- it was really helpful for me to have that date as a "mental anchor" -- and that's obviously no longer the case. Plus, Pete and I had foolishly planned a number of fun weekend adventures around my chemo schedule and now our plans are all messed up.
But it is what it is. There is nothing that I can do about it. And I trust that Dr Gullion is making all the right decisions to get me through this whole experience in one piece, which is the most important thing in the end.
Justification for Wine
A good friend sent this to me and I had to laugh....
As Ben Franklin said: In wine there is wisdom, in beer there is freedom, in water there is bacteria. In a number of carefully controlled trials, scientists have demonstrated that if we drink 1 liter of water each day, at the end of the year we would have absorbed more than 1 kilo of Escherichia coli, (E. coli) - bacteria found in feces. In other words, we are consuming 1 kilo of poop.
However, we do NOT run that risk when drinking wine and beer (or tequila, rum, whiskey or other liquor) because alcohol has to go through a purification process of boiling, filtering and/or fermenting.
Remember: Water = Poop, Wine = Health
Therefore, it's better to drink wine and talk stupid, than to drink water and be full of shit.
As Ben Franklin said: In wine there is wisdom, in beer there is freedom, in water there is bacteria. In a number of carefully controlled trials, scientists have demonstrated that if we drink 1 liter of water each day, at the end of the year we would have absorbed more than 1 kilo of Escherichia coli, (E. coli) - bacteria found in feces. In other words, we are consuming 1 kilo of poop.
However, we do NOT run that risk when drinking wine and beer (or tequila, rum, whiskey or other liquor) because alcohol has to go through a purification process of boiling, filtering and/or fermenting.
Remember: Water = Poop, Wine = Health
Therefore, it's better to drink wine and talk stupid, than to drink water and be full of shit.
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